4th of October

It is 4^th of October again, another rainy day, but in Edinburgh this year. Today matches a year since the first time I’ve seen her. I remember the sweet feeling when I decided I WILL TALK TO HER.

A year full of events, changes, sickness, revolutions, new friends, lost friends, and finally a career change. I have taken too many life changing decisions this year, even though I don’t feel something had actually affected me, as if I’m living in a glass shell.

It is 4^th of October again, I asked “is this place is taken?” as I’ve seen her talking to another guy before entering the building, she responded with her sweet accent “No, it is free”

I’m still trying to explore myself; I thought when I move out of my country, my whole life will be more precise, and even more directed. I was wrong. My course of life is changing every day, I’ve never thought in my wildest dreams, that I will be a Technology Strategist at that age, I’m not sure till now am I capable of doing that or not.

It is 4^th of October again, I said “Sorry, if I’m interrupting you too much”, and she said “No, No, I’m just writing about what I’ve been through today” and then she closed her notebook looking at me with a smile on her face.

"What is happening to my eye sight" I had this words my head while I was walking to the gym, and suddenly a black spot came up in the middle of my eye sight. I took the incident lightly even after I knew it was a stroke that hit a branch artery in my eye. My friends were wondering where am I getting this confident, and how am I so calm with a confident attitude (sometimes to a reckless extent even). I was sure this is something good, I didn't know how, and I didn't why, I just knew this is for my best. May be it was a divine trust, I just felt so

It is no longer 4^th of October, it is someday in May after my birthday and before 20th, she said "................. so I decided not to talk to you again".

worst things

what is the worst thing that could happen when you like someone? for me it is not to understand what is behind their actions :s specially when these actions are weird....
sometimes world is toooooooo complicated, other times it is just complicated :)

Things should be much more simple than that....

Am I in denial mood? should I just leave? It seems I need to just have a break.....

thoughts at the eve of revolution

I can't find words.... held in London, while my friends, family, ex-lovers..... even the ppl I've never liked are there at the eve of revolt....
I've been dreaming of this moment for around 10 years, friends used to call me maniac, family used to call me revolutianary... I've thought about it, thought about the looters, corrupted cups, filthy sercret services, was wondering would my nation be able to stand in front of all this??? I can't deny I had doubts, seeing recless drivers in the streets, micro-bus drivers reduced my hope effeciently :)
Egypt have always surprised me... but this time the shock was weird, I was hoping for it, but don't expect it... starving for a glorious moment, but trying not to think about it...
Cairo, Alexandria, even El Monofeyya :) the home village of Mr.Mubarak, alll exploded in one moment, expressing a 70 years of boiling, a 70 years of no-other-option president. Till 199x i've always thought of Mubarak as khalifa :D don't know why, may be because I was not into reading politics yet-which makes sense, cause I was less than 17 years old at that point- may be because I've never heard about election or something, I was reading 99.9% all over the country but never understood that, I've always thought that this 0.1% is myself cause I didn't say yes.... I remember one day I was speaking with my dad in his lovely white LADA car, what does 99.9% said yes to Mubarak, can we say no? he looked at me, saying yes, but you can't write it.... I asked again then why, in my head I remember that I saw a wall once with a funny name signature saying I'm saying No to Mubarak. Ironically enough this wall was repainted :)
after 1 year of reading, so I have only basic knowledge of politics and human rights, I realized why there is something wrong in the equation that has a result of 99.9% election votes.
there is no such a thing.
Tonight, I'm sleepless, I'm hopeless, I'm just waiting for the my nation's destiny to be written. It is hard.... many rumors, it is not only a war of pride, or a war endurance, it is a test, if really this nation can stand its ground? or will be weakened by the rusty souls trying to eat the hope flying over Tahrir square.
The ppl who used to throw anything in the street are now cleaning, the ppl who used to hit and run are now protecting each other's home, Egyptians has been devided into two halfs, one half protecting home, the 2nd half is protesting. Don't want to forget to mention that I discovered that the neglibile 0.1% are the looters, secret service, corrupted cups.
Long Live Egypt, Long Live the Egyptians